


How to be in love with Iwaizumi Hajime

by shukagari



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, Getting Together, Happy Ending, M/M, mostly fluff but a little bit of angst, the road is a little angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-03
Updated: 2016-10-03
Packaged: 2018-08-19 09:02:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8199172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shukagari/pseuds/shukagari
Summary: A list by Oikawa Tooru.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, just testing out this new style I suppose? Not something I'm going to stick to, but I thought it was fun try it out :) 
> 
> I've been writing quite a lot of fics over the past almost two months since I last posted but my life has been rather hectic recently and this one seemed like the quicker of the ideas I have so I decided to get this one done and posted first. 
> 
> Anyway, to my new subscribers and the old - thank you so much and I hope you enjoy this :) (as well as anyone who isn't a subscriber, I hope you enjoy it as well lol).

1\. Realise that you might be a little bit in love with your best friend as you watch him, chin propped in your palm, messily wolf down his third helping of udon of the hour. 

2\. Panic, make a terrible excuse about how you need to walk your dog even though you do not have a dog and he most definitely knows that too.

3\. Stare with wide eyes, and a stricken face and hope that he doesn't comment on your slip up. When he lowers his chopsticks, and opens his mouth to say something, run away and do not, I repeat, do not go back for the teddy bear plushie Iwaizumi had just won and given to you at the arcade you'd visited after school. 

4\. Text Iwa-chan on your way home after half an hour of self-hatred, and full on moping that you meant to say your neighbour's dog and not your own; then quickly move the subject along to asking if he can maybe give you back the plushie tomorrow if he has it with him (it's not a very nice plushie, it doesn't fit with your bedroom's colour scheme, but Iwa-chan gave it to you and therefore you obviously want it). 

5\. As you lay in bed that night you decide that you are going to write a list to help cope with being in love with your best friend who most assuredly does not love you back (there's that girl he likes, isn't there? The one he always talks about when asked who he likes, with brown eyes and brown hair). 

6\. Do not think about how you might not cope, and do not write about how loving him might finally be the breaking point in your friendship for him and the one thing he doesn't follow you into; you try not to think about that either because for some reason it makes your eyes hurt, your head hurt and a hard lump form in your throat. You think, as you slip off to sleep, that loving him is the worst feeling in the world but also the best. 

7\. Tell him he looks nice today when you greet him the next morning; you do it almost without thinking because he does look nice, he probably did yesterday too and all the days before it but this is the first time you've noticed when you know you are in love with him (his presence at your side is a whole lot more overwhelming now, you can smell his aftershave in the slight breeze and see shades of green in his eyes under the white glare of the early morning sun). If you weren't in love with him you suppose it wouldn't be so bad that you told him that he _looks nice_ , you probably wouldn't think much of it. But now that you are in love with him, or at least know that you are, you _worry_. 

8\. You have to contend with him watching you very closely for the rest of the walk to school with a bright red and very scowly face. 

9\. Tell him, rather recklessly, that he shouldn't scowl so much otherwise he'll get wrinkles before his time in a bid for freedom from his narrowed, suspicious eyes.

10\. Wonder why he got so angry when you were just trying to offer some helpful advice.

11\. Give him some more advice to test his control. 

12\. Have him laugh at you when he realises what you are up to. Try not to blush at how pretty it sounds, and how nice it is that he has you figured out so well. 

13\. Try not to stare at him all the way through English class because your teacher (who you have decided you no longer like) will notice you are not paying attention and will continuously pick on you for answers to her questions that you do not know the answer to, and you will stutter your way through it as he watches you with a frowning mouth and raised eyebrow. 

14\. Fail to stop. And watch him out of the corner of your eye through the rest of your classes as well. Dimly wonder why you had to be born into a world in which volleyball players wear short sleeves, and one where you had to watch his arms flexing as he spiked ball after ball that you tossed into the air (he didn't miss a single one; even the one you sent that was a little off after you got a glimpse of a strip of tanned stomach beneath his shirt). 

15\. Have him ask you if you're okay, with worry pinching his brow, as you've seemed distracted all day. 

16\. Wonder when you started to think all of his expressions were endearing; wonder if you always have somewhere in the back of your mind and it just took you this long to notice. 

17\. Buy him an ice cream as the day is hot and humid, and have him wonder once again if you're okay. 

18\. Frown, and wonder if it is odd for you to want to spoil him. 

19\. Decide that it is not and buy him an identical key chain to the one you buy for yourself. Try to ignore his questioning gaze on you as you carefully clip it to your bag. 

20\. Do not blush when he takes you gently by the wrist and drags you under the cover of a shop awning when the heavens open and a heavy rain starts falling in earnest, almost steaming against the once burning asphalt. It patters against the awning like a thousand heavy footfalls that you find hard to hear over your heartbeat roaring to life in your ears. 

21\. Do not blush when he dashes out into the rain, and comes back sodden, shivering and with loudly chattering teeth but also with a freshly bought umbrella hovering above his head. 

22\. Do not blush when he tugs you underneath and keeps you close because he's 'damn cold, and going to take advantage of your body heat'. Hope he doesn't notice you let him without any fuss. (His body feels strong and warm even through the soaking layers of his clothing).

23\. Do not blush as he walks you straight past his own house and drops you at your porch, where he releases you with gentle squeeze to your wrist and a murmur close to your ear that he'll see you tomorrow. You watch him as he dashes home, his figure and alien printed umbrella blurred with the rain. 

24\. Allow yourself to collapse to the floor in your room in a puddle of goo, pulling your knees to your chest, tucking your face in between them and blushing to your hearts content. 

25\. Tell Hanamaki because you _thought_ he was a good friend in the hopes that he will help you get Iwa-chan off your back as he's getting too suspicious (and to unburden yourself, this thought coming along with that old Swedish proverb your mum told you, 'Shared joy is double joy; Shared sorrow is half a sorrow.' - because being in love with someone who doesn't love you back is most certainly a sorrow. _And_ you're doing it because it seems like something Iwa-chan would tell you to do, something sensible; and since you can't exactly tell Iwa-chan, your choice is Hanamaki only because you find Matsukawa's eyebrows a little unnerving sometimes and as Hanamaki has barely any he is the obvious choice. Or maybe you could have asked Yahaba, he has nice eyebrows, you should ask him where he gets them done - but that doesn't matter now, Hanamaki is here and he is your new confidant.) 

26\. You wonder why you trusted Hanamaki to help you as all he does is laugh at you until he's doubled over with the force of it and there's tears glistening in his eyes. When he stands back up he wipes his eyes, attempts composure and starts to say something preposterous like, 'I can't believe you think he doesn't lo-' 

27\. You interrupt him before he can finish, and don't let yourself hope. You've had hope in the past and you don't like the aftermath. You've had hope and this is where it got you, a few short months away from university with no wins over Shiratorizawa under your belt, and even a loss to Karasuno to go with it. You do not let yourself hope, because with hope, pain is always following closely behind. 

28\. You attempt to blackmail Hanamaki with food so he won't go off and tell Iwa-chan your secret. 

29\. He doesn't want food, he tells you as he picks food out of his teeth; although he isn't necessarily saying he's going to tell Iwa-chan, you need to make absolutely sure that he won't. So you blackmail Hanamaki with the knowledge that you saw him practicing kissing on a volleyball and calling it 'matsu-chan'.

30\. Success. Do not dance in victory to taunt him even more about having one upped him otherwise Iwa-chan will notice (his suspicious gaze always seem to be on you these days) and ask why you are so happy.

31\. If you do dance, and Iwa-chan does ask you why you are doing so, splutter an explanation whilst Hanamaki grins at you and doesn't help you one bit, and then promptly flee the scene. 

32\. Later, when you are laying bed, make sure to wonder (in the hazy thoughts of almost unconsciousness) if your dance could have acted as some kind of terrible seduction, or siren call, and that when you get to your garden gate tomorrow morning Iwa-chan will be in love with you too, like you really want him to be. Stupidly, and for a stupid reason, you let hope bloom in your chest. 

33\. Try to impress him with your volleyball skills just because you want his complete and undivided attention. 

34\. It works a little too well as you accidentally serve the ball straight into his face (he was already looking at you anyway, as was everyone else, since you yelled 'Oi!' extra loud just before you took your running jump). His attention is now completely on you again as he stares dizzily up at you from the floor, a thin line of blood trickling from a soon to be bruised nose, you wince in sympathy (and regret) drop to your knees beside him, stroke his sweaty hair from his forehead and murmur, 'shit, I'm sorry, I'm sorry Iwa-chan.' 

35\. When you are both in the school's infirmary - him sprawled on the bed and you seated with his feet in your lap as you massage his calves in recompense - tell him it's his fault since you couldn't keep your eyes off his 'pretty, pretty face'.

36\. Hope he understands. 

37\. He doesn't. Be forced out of the infirmary by the sheer strength of his glare.

38\. A girl with brown eyes and brown hair approaches you when you are on the way to the infirmary at the start of lunch. She asks you if Iwaizumi is still in the infirmary; you stare at the colour of her hair for a long moment and then nod mutely, stepping away from her. She watches after you as you dash away, feeling as if someone has pulled the rug out from under you and a burning pressure at your eyes. 

39\. You sit on the rooftop by yourself for lunch, and pick carefully at your food but do not eat it. You try not to think about what Iwaizumi is probably doing right now. You do not wonder if she's feeding him from the bento she made him, if he's holding her hand, if they're kissing, if they're in lo - you halt that thought before you finish it because you suddenly think you might throw up and it's not a good thing to do on an empty stomach. Instead you let your bottom lip wobble, bite into it, then stare out at the sprawling campus below as you will yourself not to cry. (He doesn't love you, and it doesn't matter, it really doesn't - but of course, in actuality, it really really does). 

40\. You avoid the infirmary, and him for the rest of the school day. 

41\. He corners you at the end of practice and asks where you've been all day as he worries at his bottom lip. 

42\. You try not to stare at his lips, and look to a point behind his head to avoid them. You lie and say you've just been busy in a voice carefully void of emotion. 

43\. He frowns deeper, looks at your teammates who are still gathered in the locker room, trying to pretend they aren't listening (Hanamaki and Matsukawa aren't pretending at all, both cupping their ears and looking thoroughly unabashed as they listen in closely; Kyoutani doesn't seem to be paying them any attention, however, as he scowls at the ground, the tips of his ears red as Yahaba, who is sitting almost plastered to his left side, does up the buttons of his trousers one handed, with the fingers of his other hand rubbing an almost absent pattern into Kyoutani's bare knee - you think you will have to pay attention to that, you've been so caught up in your own love life - or lack thereof - that you haven't been your usual nosy self; you will have to rectify this so as not to alert the worry wart, or aka Iwa-chan). 

44\. He drags you out of the locker room, and Hanamaki winks at you as Iwaizumi slams the door shut behind the two of you. You are alone together, and you feel suddenly nervous. This is just Iwa-chan, you try to remind yourself, you may be in love with him but it's still just Iwa-chan. It doesn't help. 

45\. 'What's wrong?' He asks, his voice gentle, his fingers still wrapped around your wrist almost as an afterthought. You are silent for so long that he appears to get uncomfortable, he drops your hand to rub at his eyes. 'I saw you talking to Hanamaki,' - he pauses and breathes sharply in through his nose - 'did you tell him what's wrong?' he asks. You give an almost imperceptible nod of your head; he nods himself and looks away for a moment. 'I'm glad you have someone to talk to, but I don't understand why you won't talk to me,' - he cuts off, and swallows audibly - 'I thought that it was you and me, that we told each other everything.' He looks hurt, and a little lost when you look up at him and you feel your heart ache. 

46\. You don't want something silly like your feelings getting in the way of your friendship so you quickly change the subject, 'Where's your girlfriend?' you ask, and then regret it because you really don't want to know, but the words keep stumbling out, 'Shouldn't you be with her? Why are you here, questioning me?'. 

47\. He looks confused, his brow coming down and says, 'who?'

48\. 'The brown haired girl,' you gesture at your hair, 'with the brown eyes. She asked if you were still at the infirmary.' You stare at him unblinkingly and watch as his confusion mounts.

49\. 'I don't have a girlfriend,' he manages finally, 'and I don't like any brown eyed and brown haired girls. Are you sure it wasn't one of your fans trying to use me to strike up conversation with you?' he sounds a little bitter for some reason; his lips turned downwards in almost grumpy pout (you'd say it was a pout, except Iwa-chan doesn't pout, as he's told you many times). 

50\. You laugh suddenly, then scratch at the back of your neck in embarrassment when his eyes startle up to you. You hope your relief, and unbridled, sudden happiness don't show on your face. You think it must as Iwaizumi won't stop looking at you as you lead the way out of the school. 

51\. You tell him on the way home that he was sent flying, not by the volleyball you served to his face, but by the strength of your love. 

52\. You hope he understands. 

53\. He doesn't. You are chased home by a breathlessly laughing Iwaizumi Hajime who looks...beautiful as he sits besides you on your porch under the muted light of the setting sun. 

54\. You trace your fingers along his palm, stroking a circle around the callouses and if he asks what you are doing say you're trying to read his lifeline (it's a move strongly reminiscent of what you saw Yahaba doing earlier, you hope it doesn't mean that you are stealing 'moves' from your kouhai as that would just be _sad_.) 

55\. You try to ignore the curious look he's giving you, and do not, under any circumstances, die blushing when he takes your hand fully in his own and curls your fingers together as you won't be alive to appreciate the weight of his hand, and feel of it in your own (the gentle pressure of his fingertips stroking across your knuckles follows you into your dreams). 

56\. Have him tell you you look nice the next morning and feel your face heat under his watchful gaze. Puzzle over that small smile that has formed on his lips, and that he hides as he tilts his head away. 

57\. Brush the back of your hand against his, and wonder if it is purposeful when he tangles your fingers together. (Hope he can't feel your pulse thundering at your wrist). 

58\. Watch with glazed eyes as he removes his clinging shirt after morning practice, stare at his toned chest glistening with sweat and follow a droplet as it runs down from his sharp collarbone before disappearing into the hair beneath his navel that you suddenly want to bury your nose in. Have him catch your eyes across the club room, see that same small _satisfied_ smile before you whip away, blushing once again. 

59\. Stare at the curve of his jaw as it moves as he chomps down on the end of his pencil (it's probably somewhat gross, but you find it strangely endearing) and belatedly realise that he's watching you too. Stare back into his wide green eyes, decked with thick lashes and filled with intensity, and feel a hot and almost overpowering heat curling in your stomach and wonder, when he finally looks away, if something has changed between you. 

60\. Sit close to him on the school roof, his warm thigh pressed into yours; you feel it bouncing as he chomps into his rice and carefully reaches over to hold your hand in his own. 

61\. You let him rest his head on your shoulder (even though it's probably boney and not very comfortable; you feel slightly embarrassed at this, but his eyes close in contentment all the same), after a moment of staring at his fluttering lashes you hesitantly lift your hand to his head and run your fingers through his short, spikey but strangely soft hair. He pushes into your hand at your touch and you bite your lip to keep from smiling.

62\. You stare at his lips for an unnervingly long time. They distract you into a sweet daydream of what it would be like to kiss him.

63\. He drops his hand to your knee, startling you, squeezes then raises his head to look at you. There is a question on his lips but it dies when he sees whatever expression is on your face. 

64\. You still haven't looked away from his lips. Do this now. 

65\. And do not kiss Iwa-chan.

66\. I repeat, do not kiss Iwa-chan.

67\. Do not tilt your head to the side to avoid his nose and get at his lips better, do not put your hand to his cheek and press a kiss to his lips, do not find out that his lips are softer than they appear, and warmer than you thought they'd be. 

68\. If you do kiss Iwa-chan, run away. 

69\. Expertly avoid him for the rest of the day, and try not to think about how you've ruined your friendship with your best friend due to one stupid impulse. Your lips still burn from the kiss, and you regret it so so much; but you can't stop yourself distractedly lifting your hand to trace a finger over them every once in a while.

70\. You hang back after volleyball practice for so long that he eventually leaves without you. Try not to let that hurt. 

71\. Walk home depressed, and feeling incredibly lonely, and like all you want to do is go home and cry about how stupid you've been and about how awful it is to love Iwaizumi Hajime. 

72\. Be incredibly surprised and shocked out of your self-pitying stupor when you hear someone that sounds like him calling your name. 

73\. Be even more surprised when you turn to see him barreling down the hill after you his face flushed and slightly sweaty. 

74\. Have him still in front of you, and fold over to put his hands on his knees as he catches his breath. 

75\. Say nothing as your heart beats like a drum in your chest, and rings in your ears. 

76\. Have him straighten up, his chest still heaving, and look straight at you with a curious gleam in his eyes. 

77\. Be confused, and a little indignant when he says with a wide grin, 'you are such an idiot.' 

78\. Have him blindside you with his smile (a tactic you need to build defences against if you want him to still believe you are the heterosexual bro you've always been to him), then step closer and crowd you back against the wall. 

79\. Try not to hope, because you are always, always wrong. 

80\. Have him prove you wrong as he presses up against you, grabs your face in his warm and very nice hands, and then presses his lips to yours in a move that stuns you into stillness for all of ten seconds 

81\. Put your hands in his hair that is still damp with sweat, close your eyes tight, open your mouth as his hot tongue presses against it and sag back against the wall as your knees weaken under the intensity of his kiss. 

82\. Have him pull back after a very long blissful, incredibly wonderful moment of kissing that has left you dazed. Let him tenderly rest his forehead against your own. 

83\. Do not cry at his murmured confession of love, his voice rough from kissing, it will embarrass you.

84\. Cry anyway and sink into him when he pulls you into his arms with a happy laugh. 

85\. Conclude that Iwa-chan is a very good hugger. 

86\. To do: hug him all the time 

87\. To do: kiss him all the time 

88\. Observation: Iwaizumi seems to be okay with you doing both.

89\. Hold Iwaizumi's hand on the way home tightly in your own; let him sling his arm around your shoulders and pull you close to his side, do not comment on his height and say that it is you who should be the one whose doing the slinging (if you do so anyway, he will simply laugh and nuzzle his nose against your cheek and you will love it). 

90\. Have him blush beneath your lips as you kiss his cheek in goodbye. 

91\. Move to kiss him on the lips because he's just so cute, and just because you can. 

92\. Last but not least, call him by his first name and tell him you love him (so so much). 

93\. Have him stare at you with something akin to wonder in his eyes, press his fingers to your cheek in a touch as tender as his smile and then have him murmur, as he presses kisses to your neck and wraps his arms around your waist, that he loves you so so much although he doesn't really know why. 

Why doesn't matter, it just _is_.

To do: destroy this list so no one will find it and try to steal your Iwa-chan.

Conclusion: loving Iwaizumi Hajime is the best feeling in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Apologies if there's any mistakes, I wrote most of this on my phone - I've done a read through but I always miss a few!! 
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated.
> 
> You can find me at: sakuragimichi.tumblr.com although I don't really use it as much anymore, I still do pop on every now and then.
> 
> I hope you are having a great day :)


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